Life after Loss

The shortest verse in the New Testament, "Jesus wept" (John 11:35). Two words that hold together a complete thought. These are brief and profound words. I can relate to these words for they speak about my condition and maybe yours.

Yesterday I encountered two pieces of information that have spun into this post. In the first, two "Christian comedians" were required to spend part of a night in a cemetery as the cast chose two contestants who would be labeled for "execution." One of the two commented about the strange-ness of the experience and then went straight to speaking about the hope of resurrection.

The second piece of information that led to this posting came from a more academic viewpoint. Brian Lowery, managing editor for the on-line"Preaching Today Sermon Newsletter," wrote:

"Which day is worse: the day of the funeral or the day after? I would argue it's the day after. At least the "day of" has you surrounded by loved ones who can pick you up and carry you, if need be. The day after is when the house goes deafeningly quiet. The day after is when you notice that a particular chair at the table is empty. The day after is when the world bats down the rest of the levy you had built against it."

Mr. Lowery should be congratulated for his words. As I look back upon the losses in my life they have often been overwhelmed with so much activity and "confusion" that staying upright and moving was enough all by itself. Each of us responds to loss in a different way. Our individuality in this area will shine through.

We learn how to grieve as part of the non-realized experience of growing up. Perhaps we were not intentionally paying attention, however part of our brain made a record of the events in our sub-conscious that we could refer to later. First griefs, and success in working through them, impact upon this base of knowledge. Each loss, the depth and breadth of that loss, and how "we" work through that loss is then added to these experiences and how we resolve, or get stuck, in future losses.

Then we come to Jesus. The Son of God (by my understanding fully God who took on teh fullness of humanity to become intimate and redeeming) who had full knowledge and awareness of the state of Lazarus in his death. Jewish belief held that the soul of an individual stayed near the body for the first days. The reason for this belief may be guessed at and considered at another opportunity. Lazarus had been in the ground for four days. He was a righteous man and an intimate friend of Jesus, brother of Mary and Martha. The exact situation of his soul will vary according to your theological position. Jesus came and was with Martha (a serious, active, and hands-on woman who challenged Him. (In case you wonder, God has room for your challenges.) He came and saw Mary, a woman whose emotions were far more visible. Both women were grieving in their own individual ways. And Jesus came to the tomb. He stood there. And "Jesus wept."

I have sat and listened to many who struggle with this shortest of verses. There are those who hold that Jesus was showing support for those who were grieving; if so His actions would be less than truthful. Others hold that Jesus was experiencing sadness for all that these friends had worked/were working through. Yet, perhaps and most likely, Jesus was wept for He was grieving. There are many who struggle with this thought. Yet, it seems most natural.

The comedians, noted above, seemed to have separated themselves from the pain of loss. Do not think poorly of them. They are merely reacting to loss and how they have chosen to define that experience.

Mr. Lowery brings about an awareness that the pain, and change of loss are broader then a few days. That the adjustments required with loss are broad and ongoing.

A Common Experience

You and I will work through loss throughout our lives. One of the earliest of experiences being when a parent/caregiver did not run to our sides when we, as babies, cried. As you look upon your life you may recall countless losses and accompanying grief experiences.

(As I write this my mind goes back to a favorite childhood teacher who announced that she was called to the mission field. She was excited. I was devastated.)

Might you take a moment to go back and recall some of your losses. As you make your list take a moment to reflect on them. In some situations you will find that letting go was essential to growing. (A parent leaving you to struggle through something on your own.)

Others, might surprise you. These may be losses that you left unfinished. Losses that were too painful! If you find some pain there you might take a moment and quietly sit there and leave room for your grief.

There may be some active processes that you are in the midst of resolving. Grief is an active part of all of our lives! Some losses may be major ones and others not as notable. Choose your own label regarding how painful a particular loss is to you. No one else can label the depth of your loss. Take time to grieve.

Grief will not wander off with out some attention. You can choose to pack it away and hope it will disappear. But unresolved loss always claims part of your life/how you will live and respond to future loss.

Yes, Mr. Lowery, the day following the funeral are days filled with grief. When I think back upon funerals where I have been the family or friend who experienced the loss I find that I did not stop grieving following the funeral. The days of approaching the funeral are days packed with deep emotions. (One funeral director regularly records the actual funeral and offers it to the bereaved for he believes that the family often hears nothing of the actual words spoken.) Only in the days that follow are we allowed the time necessary to work through the loss and begin coming to grips with the changes that loss/death brings.

I encourage you to work through your individual loss at your own pace. As necessary find a good friend, trusted clergy, and, if necessary, a professional counselor to work through your pain. Work through the pain and make adjustments at your own pace. The amount of time this will take will vary. You are an individual and your loss is your loss and no one elses.

You will likely find that your individual strengths, your faith, and your way of addressing life will lead to an ability to function in the days that follow. Some memories of your loved one, or lost experiences/strength, may lead to future strengths. Other memories will cause you to go back and grieve a little more. (The other day I moved the flag that had covered my father's coffin at his funeral, and I found myself giving thanks for him and grieving a little bit more.)

Find strength in the shortest of verse "Jesus wept" (John 11:35) and know that Jesus' tears/weeping was not put on or outside of Himself. Rather, Jesus experienced grief

Your Liminal Space

Last month I attended a conference put on by Ron Martoia (Static). He came and spoke to a group of denominationally aligned pastors. (Some were challenged, others were offended. O Well!). During one of the sessions Dr. Ron spoke about "Liminal Space". As he spoke he pointed too the almond shape found as a consistent part of Icons from the Catholic Church. Per Dr. Ron, this almond shape represents the artists perception that something holy and other is present. It brings to mind Otto's discussion of the Numinous Tremendum, the Other, as a representation of the Holy.

Have I got you curious?

Might I offer that the Liminal Space may represents the intersection of God in your world. Have you allowed God to enter into your life and to radically rearrange who you are? Or are you more likely to put up a blockade that denies God access. I must admit that sometimes it may seem that I do?

There are times in my life that appear "threatening". They are outside of my control and may appear ominous. It is in the presence of these situations that I can be more ready to "throw up my hands" and look to God for assistance. It is these times that I am more "moldable".

When all is well I have a tendency to claim full control. Do you resemble this at all?

I want to encourage you to give up control and allow God into your life. To give Him the right to claim liminal space in your life where God can rearrange and bring about the Kingdom in your life. Yes, it may be scary! But, I usually experience some fear when Iam out of control.

How about you?

Building and Supporting a Community

What value and importance does buildinga community have for you? We all belong to a community. Perhaps the most simple of communities came about when you were born. This event came about at a high point of relationship between a man and a woman and, at a minimum, it resulted in you. Your most basic of communities may have changed. It may have been added to, redefined, or you have started building amost basic of communities on your own.

There are other communities that have been defined by relatives, the street or community that you live as part of, or it may be the school you have attended or the work that you o. Then there is the community which is the Body of Christ, the church. When you think of the church where does your mind go? Is it the congregation that you attend or do not attend any more? IS it the church accross the world with all of its different forms and flavors? Is it your denomination with all of its intricasies?

In the Gospel of Luke 5:17 to 26 we find a presentation on community. The setting is a village in Galilee. More specifically Jesus is in a synagogue on Sabbath worship. The place was full! Paying attention to what went on requires a minor discussion of Galillean architecture. The structure was one story in height. A staircase was likely found along the side of the building for it would be the practice of residents to go up on the roof during the heat of the day. During this particular event there would not likely be people up on the roof. All the action was in the synagogue.

Now here is where I invite you to pay utmost attention. As people poured into the synagogue the place was quickly filled. There are stories told about how churches would fill during the days of the 18th Century Welsh revival. As people poured into the church and filled the pews teh brave would climb up and sit on parallel rafters, and as they were filled additional worshippers would stand outside or close to the windows. Was this what was going on that day?

In another part of Galillee that day there was a man who was paralyzed and stuck in bed. Let me suggest to you that this man was feeling overwhelmed from the effects of his condition. Have you met anyone "frozen in place" like that? But this man had some good friends (perhaps 4) who went and got him out of bed and carried him to Jesus.

All around you there are people "frozen in place". They may not be physically paralyzed. They may be outside of community. These might be individuals who come and go from work and never go outside. Some may choose to be this way. Some may be shy and waiting for someone to say hello to them.

These were exceptional friends. They took it upon themselves to get involved in this man's life. They took it upon themselves to do the labor of bringing this man to Jesus. And when they got to the building and found it full they went and made a new way of getting this friend the help that they hoped he would receive.

I have always found it amusing to think about how they made an entry way for their friend. The roof involved a combination of dirt and tiles. First they would scrape away the dirt and then lift the tiles. As they moved the tiles debris fell in on top of those inside. Can you hear the ruckus of those inside as debris fell on their heads?

Building a community is never an easy process! You are going to be inconvenienced! You are going to "get your hands dirty". However these friends were more interested in their friends condition they they were worried about what may cause them difficulty.

The four friends lowered the man through the roof. Jesus healed him and forgave his sin. The man walked home, Changed!!

In our current society there are not many who are willing to be bothered with this much activity. But this is what the world needs. They need for you and I to build a community. To take the time to get dirty, bothered, and haev our schedules rearranged that the community - the Kingdom of God may grow.

So, What will you do?

Hear Him calling and go!

Pastor Al

Looking to Jesus in the Tough Times

Do you ever get frustrated? Perhaps you do all the "right" things to find that they don't launch they the way that you hoped.

I have spent time in 2 Corinthians 12:2-10 over the past week. In this passage Paul is writing to a well loved, yet frustrating, congregation. These were people that he prayed for often and felt deep frustration for as they were tripped up by life events and spiritual terrorists who sought to steal their joy. Have you ever been there?

Perhaps you approach this blog as a parent who has continually lifted a child before the Lord in prayer. This son or daughter, your offspring, is of dear value to you, you have gone out of the way to love and care for them, and you have given of yourself, even went it hurt.

Or perhaps you are a pastor, or mentor, to an individual God has placed you with. Without a doubt you know that God has placed this person in your care to love, encourage, and lead but they continue to struggle. This was the Church at Corinth.

As the Apostle Paul comes to a close to this second letter he shares an experience, a significant struggle, and how he found strength.

The Experience

Paul wrote about a vivid spiritual experience in verses 2 to 4. As he wriote he uses the third person. There are some who believe that this indicates that Paul is writing about something that happened to another person. This appraoch is comfortable to literalists. This group states that if this was Paul's experience he would be more vivid and said so. However, to hold this position the interpreter needs to redact verse 7 were Paul switched to the first person. Allow me to suggest to you that as Paul wrote about the experience of some one he knew he was referring to himself. His motivation for doing so is supported by the locale, the sitz in leben, of the passage.

If the reader considers the previous part of this letter (chapters 10 and 11) she/he will find that Paul is defending his call and ministry to the Corinthian Church. In the time before this writing an opposing group of ministers had come in an attempt to steal the Corinthians from their first love. Some may take exception to my use of the word "ministers" but that is how they portrayed themselves. (In using this word I do not do so with a specific group or persons in mind.) This group of false leaders attacked Paul's teachings through an attack on him. Having been forced into this position the Apostle reviewed a number of struggles, abuses, and persecutions that he experienced for the cause of Christ (11:21-33). Their attacks and bantering with the charge of "weakling" was something that Paul clearly acknowledged.

For this reason the Apostle writes about his experience/vision (12: 2-4) in the third person. Paul's opposition would have spoken proudly about this experience. In the culture of today an individual who desired to speak of such an experience could be famous and wealthy overnight. TV journalists would spread the story of their experience widely and, surely, at least one book could be published. But, Paul shares this experience for a different reason. Not as something to earn him praise, respect, and wealth but as a back drop to what he wrote next.

A Thorn

"To keep me from becoming conceited . . . given a thorn" (verse 7).

Have you ever had a thorn in your flesh? I am not referring to a bur or something as small as the thorn found on the stem of a rose. The Greek community knew that a thorn of this type was as large as a tent stake. It had a sharp pointed end which could pierce a boot. Some thorns are but a momentary nuisance. Here, Paul refers to a significant struggle.

So what was this "thorn"? It is clear that Paul is not referring to a literal thorn - that would be too easy. Many have suggested that they know what it was, but how could they know. I believe that Paul did us a favor by not being specific.

Let me invite you to a short exercise. What do you think this thorn represents? Take a moment and ask yourself, "It this was me, and not Paul, what would the 'thorn' be?" I know that this exercise can be risky. But, you can choose who you will tell or you can keep it a secret.

Have you got it? Not a trivial difficulty, but a struggle that you have not been able to resolve. Be gutsy for a moment. For some this "thorn" will be a significant sorrow or struggle. Some will have rearranged their life to make room for their "thorn". Once you have your "thorn" identified, place it on the countertop of your mind. It may be tempting to quickly put it away, but I believe God has a purpose for you in this exercise.

Responding to the Thorn

Paul prayed when he discovered his thorn. To the Apostle prayer was as natural as breathing. He looked at his thorn wrapped it in prayer and placed in Jesus' hand. But it did not go away!

There are times that a prayer will resolve such a difficulty. And there are times that the thorn continues. Paul kept praying. There were many things in Paul's life that he prayed for. He lifted concerns for himself, for the people God had given him, for the plans he was considering, and for wisdom for what to do. He prayed in the morning. He prayed at night. He prayed continually.

I imagine that the continual presence of the thorn in his life caught his attention. Paul persisted in prayer. Regularly he asked God to remove this struggle, this difficulty, from his life. It can be frustrating when your prayer does not receive the answer you desire. At times like this the enemy, satan, may whisper in your mind that you are not worthy or good enough to get God's attention. BUT, remember satan is a liar. God listens to all the prayers of believers. He answers eveyone!

In verse 8 he writes "Three times I pleaded". These words are a Greek idiom for praying fully. Paul prayed at all time and in all situations about this concern. Everytime he went to prayer he lifted this concern. And then, the Lord Jesus spoke to him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." God the Son was there in Paul's life and through Paul's prayers. Jesus wanted to work through him and the "problem" which Paul as a nuisance was a gift of grace!

Someone may be thinking now, "What do you mean?. Surely this thorn, this nuisance, this overwhelming difficulty is not a gift of God's grace!" But, my friend it may be just that.

There are times, people, events, and places in our lives that we would never choose but have been given to us by God out of the love. In these times we need to cling tighter and look to God as our provider because by ourselves we may not be able. God will be with you in the middle of your struggle. He will give you guidance and wisdom, and will do His part on His own. He will bring about His will and His plans through them. One of those plans is You.

What Now
Look at that "thorn" lying on the countertop of your mind. Is it still there? That difficulty, frustration, and struggle may just be a Blessing from the One who Redeemed you. It may be difficult to handle and it may rearrange your life. And, this is the hard part, it may be God's perfect gift for you!

May God fill you with wonder as you admit your struggle, receive His gifts (easy or hard) and experience His power in the midst of your weakness. Amen.

Blessings

Pastor Al

Grateful for Freedom

I am grateful for the freedom. It is an amazingthing to live in a country where I have the freedom to worship where I wish, the security to know that no one will move in and take over, the assurance that I can speak and write with a broad amount of freedom. Some may questioned this freedom and how far it goes. The Patriot Act has set some limitations on life and what may be said without concern for censure, but I am willing to allow for some restriction of Liberty to gaurantee security and freedom in general.

During a recent perusal of the writings of John Piper ("The Link is Faith") I found a discussion of "gratitude". Pastor Piper states that true gratitude is "a sense of joyful indebtedness." This adequately describes my feelings towards my country and those who give of themselves that we might free. I feel indebted to those in government who work long hours and have bound themselves to working through the struggles of being a city, a state/commonwealth, a nation. I feel indebted to men and women ( and their families) who serve in the military to serve me and you. I am indebted to those who have heard the call of volunteerism and served without concern for personal recognition. But, primarily I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, my Lord and my Redeemer. Who gave of Himself (John 3:16-18, Romans 5:6-8; and Philippians 2:6-11) that all who receive Him as Redeemer might have access to the Father. Who gives all who follow Him the Holy Spirit that we might become full and complete within the Father's plan and purpose for our lives and for the Kingdom.

Because I am grateful for our country I will honor it and serve as I am called. And because I am grateful to my Savior I will serve Him and honor Him with all my life. Will you join me? He is the Mighty God who seeks to have us fit well in His Kingdom. He is the great Redeemer who offers salvation to all who will receive it. Will you receive Him and will you serve Him?

In Galatians 5:6b, the Apostle Paul writes to believers, "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Paul is not talking about warm feelings when writes about love. True love may be experienced initially as an emotion but, if it is real, love always expresses itself in action. Then gratitude (an expression of love) becomes more than an expression of appreciation, rather it is expressed in action, in the way I live.

In gratitude might you share the Good news with all who hear. There is more that enough Redemotion and Love to go around.

Praise be to God!

Pastor Al

How Well Do You Believe?

The setting is the City of Philippi. At that time it was a Roman city (originally a military outpost). The Apostle Paul and his ministry team, including the physician Luke and Silas, had ventured through the inspiration and calling of God. In their first days there they prayed with Lydia and a prayer group that met by the river (see the post for Wednesday below), in the days that followed Paul and Silas were acosted by a demon possessed young girl, set her free, and were cast into prison after being severely beaten.

Some would have submitted their resignation after a week like that. They might have thrown their hands in the air and said "Why Me?". But this was not in Paul or Silas nature. In the middle of the prison they began to pray and praise. Well it is Friday. It has been a busy week for me, how about you? Yet, in the midst of all that busyness I have come to value the quiet, out of the way moments, even if I have not planned them. As they sat side-by-side with their legs bound in the stocks Paul and Silas found strength and joy in praying and praising. And about midnight an earthquake occurred that opened all the doors and unlocked all the chains and stocks.

Pay attention with me to the jailer for a moment. He was fast asleep when the earthquake shook him. As he went to check on the prisoners in his care he found the doors wide open andhe feared the prisoners had escaped and he would suffer for their escape. Picture with me this man as he reached for a knife to commit suicide. But, he was stopped by Paul yelling out and telling him no one had left. What ran through this man's mind as he stood there? Something different from normal had occurred, and in response he cried, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" Paul responded, "Believe in the Lord Jesus ...".

The word for "believe" in Greek is the word pisteuvo. It is a complex word that does not fully translate into the English language. Pisteuvo carries with it more than an intellectual process. To express pisteuvo in Jesus means involves trusting, clinging, and relying on a relationship with Him. When I trust in someone I am willing to listen and act on what he says. Clinging brings to mind a picture of a young child holding tightly to their parents leg and speaks of developing an intimate relationship with Jesus. And relying on Jesus involves turning to Him as both Lord and Leader.

So, how well do you believe (pisteuvo) on Jesus? And what might you ask God to help you do to believe more fully?

Pastor Al

My Current Christian Heroes

I have some new heroes of the faith I want to tell you about. They are exceptional leaders who have counted the cost and lived vivid Christian lives even when it is uncomfortable to do so.

The first is Pastor Van Thong (Lao People's Democratic Republic) and eleven of his peers were arrested for attending meetings that were organized by Christian Leaders from the West. Pastor Van Thong is the head of the Lao Evangelical Church in his province. Full details as to his condition are not available. Pastor Van Thong hs made the decision to serve Christ fully and to follow Him despite the cost. He has been imprisoned fo rover 200 days, has been denied visitors, and not given an end date for his imprisonment.

A second, hero is Pastor Wang Weiliang of China. Pastor Weiliang and seven other church leaders from the Xiaoshan District were sentenced to, from, one to three and one-half years imprisonment. Four of these men were then given suspended sentences. As part of their imprisonment Pastor Weiliand, and his peers, are forced to make clothing and shoes for export. They have been prohibited from praying out loud or reading the Bible. Soon after they were imprisoned their church building was bulldozed down. Pray for their strength in Christ and for their release.

Would that we all would live our faith with courageous resolve and live out the testimony of the Apostle Paul were he wrote, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:14).

Pastor Al